Miscommunication

I had fun on my "date" with Vimes. I am still unsure if it was a date, especially since midway through he took a phone call at the bar and made plans for after we left with a group of friends. In a casual way you would with a friend.

Vimes, as I'll call him, is a nice guy. He's able to hold a conversation and seems to enjoy my company and beer. We have good conversations. Tonight I got to the bar early. I read until he showed up (about ten minutes "late" although we had said 4ish, not four o'clock) and we had three rounds. He insisted on getting the tab. "I work at [Big Company] now. I can afford it." It was sweet.

The only complaint I have is that again, Vimes is negative. He complains about his lack of TV, his lack of friends in Seattle, his lack of hobbies. Perhaps he doesn't realize how he sounds.

Lord knows that I am Queen of TMI, especially when nervous or insecure, so I rattle off lists of information that is not relevant. I never realized how it came off until one night I was hanging out with the Ex (while we were still together) and a group of friends playing games. At the end of the night, to fill a gap in conversation, I mentioned how I had broken my CD player at the gym and wouldn't have music to walk to work the next day. I was not complaining, just stating it as a fact that was on my mind; besides, I thought it was sort of funny how it went flying from my hands on the treadmill. I was met with silence and blank stares. A few days later, the Ex and I were arguing and he mentioned the CD players story. He said, "You always do that. You just complain about stuff all the time and no one knows what to say."

I was stunned. I had never thought of it that way. Verbal vomit may spew forth from my mouth but it's not an attempt to garner sympathy or be a whiner; I just like the sound of my own voice. Still, without that comment, I might never have realized how those types of things sounded to other people. While I haven't made huge progress in mentally monitoring what comes out of my mouth, I've made a conscious effort to avoid sounding differently than I intend. (I still end up with my foot in my mouth constantly but at least I realize it.)

Vimes probably suffers from this lack of self-awareness. Or maybe he's just a pessimisstic whiner. I don't know.